The 2007 Senior Thesis: A Retrospective

In honor of this momentous occasion forever engraved upon our class’s history, it is imperative for us to take a deep breath, blow our noses, and reflect on the last two semesters in which we worked like whoa. While other seniors across the country are coloring inside the lines with Crayolas, we have surpassed the work of any other student, present or past. Yes, even Dave Barry.

We have nearly broken our backs from the 35 lb. backpacks overflowing with research and outlines and edited sections and drafts, not to mention the rhetoric textbooks. It’s a good thing Sharon Crowley and Debra Hawhee (hehe) aren’t grading these beasts, for if you failed to mention hate speech (aka. bananas, elephants, or orangutans) you would surely fail and be doomed to expound on that subject forever. The black book of death and destruction wouldn’t help you either.

We’ve learned that the MLA format truly stands for the Most Lame Assemblage. Spending gazillions of hours looking up whether a period or comma follows the publication date, some of us have come close to chucking the paperback across the room, hoping that it would somehow shatter into a million pieces. Some might have even considered the paper shredder or garbage disposal.

We’ll probably be hunchbacks for spending such time staring into computer screens and permanently wear dark circles under our eyes for four-hour nights. Not to mention the caffeine addiction and premature wrinkles.

So as we presently stand like Augustine once did, with one foot in the final draft and the other in the speech, let us remember that shiny, hallowed parchment to which we strive and for which we perspire.

Cheers.